La parete di fronte al mio letto è ampia e bianca. Ho voluto lasciarla così da quando mi sono trasferito in questa casa e dopo poche settimane ho comprato un proiettore e ti ho fatto una sorpresa. Credo te lo ricorderai anche se sono passati quasi due anni.
Hai sempre avuto una predilezione per il cinema al quale sei abituata sin da piccolissima. Davanti a quello schermo gigantesco sul quale si componevano storie sei rimasta sin da subito rapita, manifestando una autentica passione per quella magia che si può comporre ogni volta come fosse la prima esclusivamente in una sala buia. Un po’ come me, passeresti tutti i pomeriggi della tua vita sotto al grande schermo, in quella stanza nella quale, quando le luci si spengono, si viene trasportati letteralmente in una realtà nella quale non siamo spettatori ma protagonisti.
Così quando quella sera di luglio, ho spento le luci e acceso il proiettore tu hai spalancato gli occhi ed esclamato “papà hai portato il cinema a casa!” ed era esattamente quello che speravo accadesse.
Da quella sera abbiamo inaugurato quelle che affettuosamente chiamiamo tra noi seratine speciali, che col tempo abbiamo reso sempre più speciali affiancando al film i nostri (quasi sempre tuoi) piatti preferiti che mangiamo rigorosamente a letto sui tavolini di ikea. È un rito bello che riserviamo esclusivamente alle serate in cui il giorno dopo tu non vai a scuola e io a lavoro. Di solito il rito si inaugura nel primo pomeriggio del venerdì o del sabato, quando io ti chiedo “seratina speciale?” e tu esulti facendo sapere a tutto il palazzo che sei contenta. A quel punto pianifichiamo cosa mangiare. Andiamo a far la spesa, compriamo le cotolette oppure gli hot-dog o ancora gli hamburger. Le verdure sono rigorosamente vietate e alla fine della cena ci concediamo un gelato o un dolce, a seconda della stagione.
Un tempo sceglievi sempre tu cosa vedere e io ti lasciavo fare. Abbiamo così visto decine di volte tutti i classici Disney partendo da Cenerentola, passando per Biancaneve e arrivando ai più recenti Frozen o Coco. La tua curiosità deve aver intuito che lasciarmi proporre delle alternative poteva portarti verso mari inesplorati e interessanti. Così lentamente hai cominciato a fidarti delle mie proposte, forse anche soltanto perché sei un’avida consumatrice di trailer (trei come li chiami tu), che io ti sottopongo ripetutamente nella fase di scelta del film. Ma è stato grazie a questo che ho potuto farti conoscere alcuni dei film ai quali ero più affezionato nella mia infanzia. E.T., Navigator, La Storia Infinita, i Goonies, Jumanji. Li guardiamo insieme e insieme a te io li rivedo come fosse la prima volta, dividendo lo sguardo tra la parete e i tuoi occhi che osservano avidamente e vivono ogni passaggio con la gioia e lo stupore di un bambino. Ho una mappa mentale, le tappe della quale lentamente stiamo percorrendo. Tu ancora non lo sai ma presto conoscerai Ritorno al futuro e Indiana Jones e, prima o poi, guarderemo insieme Rushmore e ti racconterò di quel periodo della mia vita in cui lo guardavo a ripetizione e mi auguravo giorno e notte che apparisse un Max Fisher, mi invitasse alla premiere di una piece teatrale e mi assegnasse un posto vicino a lei. Quel giorno, sono certo, mi farai un sacco di domande e rideremo tanto nel pensare quanto scemo sia stato tuo padre e quanto indiscutibilmente bello sia Rushmore. Tu sarai un po’ più grande di oggi ed enormemente matura. Mi fisserai e mi dirai: “papà, ti identificavi in Herman Blume ma in realtà eri tu Max Fisher”. A quel punto io fisserò il pavimento riflettendo, tu sorriderai del tuo sorriso meraviglioso e probabilmente mi chiederai “Nihilo sanctum estne?”.
Intanto ci spariamo per la trentesima volta Frozen e subito dopo ti addormenti nel mio letto. Prima di chiudere gli occhi mi chiedi “Papi, domattina mi porti la colazione a letto?”. Io ti sussurro “shhhh… dormi adesso” e dentro ti rispondo “certo, amore mio!”.
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